A Day in the Life

Now is the time of year for my spray tan. I have pasty, albino skin. I don't have any time to lay out and earn a real one. I also do not have the funds for a professional one. I do it myself in my bathroom. Very cool. I sprayed last night, dried off and then slept on it. I am out of practice I guess because I did a TERRIBLE job. I forgot to wipe down my feet apparently. I have Oompa Loompa feet, and I also missed a large area on my leg...

Dark foot. Mostly my big toe... Man I need my toes did.

See that streak of no color, not the flash, lower down? And my flabby thigh?

I don't know how that happened. I normally use Nutragena (I googled how to spell this, me=dork), but Walgreens had a deal I couldn't refuse so I bought the store brand. I think it was actual just user error, but I want to blame the store brand, so I will.

I did some research. Lemon juice is supposed to help fade blotchy areas, and I have that at home, so I tried it.

 Lemon Juice Blending - Actually worked pretty well. I used lemon juice from concentrate, squirted a paper towel and rubbed along the streaky lines. Blended everything a little bit better. I took a shower and re-sprayed very lightly to the missed areas, scrubbed my feet and rubbed the "seams" from the blank canvas spot on my thigh into the already tan part with more lemon juice.


Here is another fun story. I went to Walmart to buy some work lunch, and locked my keys in my vehicle. I called my mommy. I am talking to my mom, looking into my vehicle and notice... my moonroof is open!!! I climb the hood of my vehicle (a Yukon, folks) and shimmy in through the moonroof. Get my keys, get out of the vehicle, raise them above my head like a victory trophy, and drive away. There is a construction crew and several old people who witnessed my embarrassment (aka ninja moves). An old man laughed at me. This has been my day so far.